Aliens give you a camera and say “only those you photograph will live.” You have one year.
*takes a selfie. destroys camera*
this is gonna be a good life
Take a selfie… from the Moon. Problem solved. Then panic over the definition of who counts as in the picture, and arrange for mass aerial photography.
SAN FRANCISCO—In an effort to reduce the number of unprovoked hostile communications on the social media platform, Twitter announced Monday that it had added a red X-mark feature verifying users who are in fact perfectly okay to harass. “This new verification system offers users a simple, efficient way to determine which accounts belong to total pieces of shit whom you should have no qualms about tormenting to your heart’s desire,” said spokesperson Elizabeth James, adding that the small red symbol signifies that Twitter has officially confirmed the identity of a loathsome person who deserves the worst abuse imaginable and who will deliberately have their Mute, Block, and Report options disabled. “When a user sees this symbol, they know they’re dealing with a real asshole who has richly earned whatever mistreatment they receive, including profanity, body-shaming, leaking of personal information, and relentless goading to commit suicide. It’s really just a helpful way of saying to our users, ‘This fuck has it coming, so do your worst with a clear conscience and without fear of having your account suspended.’” At press time, Twitter reassuredly clarified that the red X was just a suggestion and that all users could still be bullied with as little recourse as they are now.
I swear to god he has some kind of ancient Egyptian curse. There is always, always one of these whenever something happens. He stole an amulet from a tomb or some shit.
Watching these videos of people keeping exotic animals on the Internet.
Then you look it up, and it’s like…
The less smug you are, (and the less unethical you are), the less it stings when your most unethical behavior comes to light.
It’s good standard practice to avoid using “wit” (and snark) on people because they are low-status (”gross,” “smelly,” “ugly,” “fat harpy” and so on). First of all, it’s just not a good mental hygiene habit. Second of all, it cannot then come back to haunt you.
What does it mean when a post has 2 notes, but only a single like and no reblogs? Shadowban on a follower?
[someone may have] reblogged then saved as draft
Even now, I may be adding phantom notes to posts all across Tumblr.
Everyone likes fast cars, but why is it that when I propose a new class of police “super interceptors” powered by retired attack helicopter turbines as the new primary response to illegal street racing, in order to boost advancement in the automotive industry, I’m the bad guy??
When liberals Constantly use ‘45’, ‘head cheeto’, ‘drumpf’ etc to refer to trump….I’m just like “you know it isn’t like beetlejuice, right”
it’s just the liberal obummer
It’s exactly as stupid as obummer was. Or for that matter however people made fun of Bush. Or for that matter writing “Micro$oft” with a dollar sign.
It’s such a disgraceful way to refer to our first Meme-American President!
They need to have some cultural respect instead of just dismissing him over his unusually-saturated skin color!
