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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
slartibartfastibast
sidizenkane

Parks & Rec, Pretty Little Liars and the Fast & Furious films all exist in the same universe

itsverybeautifulover-there

And SCANDAL WTF

sidizenkane

Oh jeez, SCANDAL….

….and BATTLESHIP too, apparently. It’s a goddamn conspiracy 

sidizenkane

Oh god. He’s on REVENGE too. How deep does this rabbit-hole go….

sidizenkane

Oh my god. DEXTER.

sidizenkane

THE ACTUAL NEWS

hijinksensue

I read an interview with this guy (who is a real news anchor), and he said he told his acting agent that he is ONLY interested in parts where he plays a new anchor. This is no coincidence. This is by design. 

fieldbears

what is his plan

pumpkinmcqueen

living the dream

slutscumngo

Lmaooo

slartibartfastibast

WE’RE IN THE SAME UNIVERSE AS PARKS AND REC!

mitigatedchaos

Oh, this is just beautiful.

Source: sidizenkane

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ranma-official
theonion: “SAN FRANCISCO—In an effort to reduce the number of unprovoked hostile communications on the social media platform, Twitter announced Monday that it had added a red X-mark feature verifying users who are in fact perfectly okay to harass....
theonion

SAN FRANCISCO—In an effort to reduce the number of unprovoked hostile communications on the social media platform, Twitter announced Monday that it had added a red X-mark feature verifying users who are in fact perfectly okay to harass. “This new verification system offers users a simple, efficient way to determine which accounts belong to total pieces of shit whom you should have no qualms about tormenting to your heart’s desire,” said spokesperson Elizabeth James, adding that the small red symbol signifies that Twitter has officially confirmed the identity of a loathsome person who deserves the worst abuse imaginable and who will deliberately have their Mute, Block, and Report options disabled. “When a user sees this symbol, they know they’re dealing with a real asshole who has richly earned whatever mistreatment they receive, including profanity, body-shaming, leaking of personal information, and relentless goading to commit suicide. It’s really just a helpful way of saying to our users, ‘This fuck has it coming, so do your worst with a clear conscience and without fear of having your account suspended.’” At press time, Twitter reassuredly clarified that the red X was just a suggestion and that all users could still be bullied with as little recourse as they are now.

Source: theonion queue
slartibartfastibast
mitigatedchaos

The less smug you are, (and the less unethical you are), the less it stings when your most unethical behavior comes to light.

It’s good standard practice to avoid using “wit” (and snark) on people because they are low-status (”gross,” “smelly,” “ugly,” “fat harpy” and so on).  First of all, it’s just not a good mental hygiene habit.  Second of all, it cannot then come back to haunt you.

the culture war slurs cw
rendakuenthusiast
ragemovement

When liberals Constantly use ‘45’, ‘head cheeto’, ‘drumpf’ etc to refer to trump….I’m just like “you know it isn’t like beetlejuice, right”

obiternihili

it’s just the liberal obummer

rendakuenthusiast

It’s exactly as stupid as obummer was. Or for that matter however people made fun of Bush. Or for that matter writing “Micro$oft” with a dollar sign.

mitigatedchaos

It’s such a disgraceful way to refer to our first Meme-American President!

They need to have some cultural respect instead of just dismissing him over his unusually-saturated skin color!

Source: ragemovement shtpost this is a joke
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