Alright, it was me.
I hate every version of the Earth Sphere Federation that I’ve ever encountered so much that I altered the timeline and made Trump the President.
It wasn’t even that hard.
here’s how marine can still win
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Tags Now:
#the iron hand - the State
#the invisible fist - Capitalism
#the red hammer - Communism
#thx xhxhxhx - you know who you are @xhxhxhx
#chronofelony - time travel
#mitigated future - futurism
#art+#oc - hand-made, free-range, gluten-free, organic, locally-sourced PNGs
#shtpost - quality, 100% serious post, always repost this
#politics - elaborate joke post, never repost this
#trump cw - self-filter tag for anti-memeist bigots who are prejudiced against our first Meme-American President due to the orange color of his skin
#discourse preview 2019 - retrocausal posts from the New Mexico Timeline
#nationalism - posts banned under the 2089 Human Dignity Act of the Earth Sphere Federation, filtering these is recommended for normies and anyone who isn’t a NatSep
#augmented reality break - (alternate (reality) break) tag intersection, but with coffee so it’s better and therefore augmented (like me)
Future Tags (Vegas Timeline):
#this week on woke or broke - exciting new youtube show in which contestants try to guess what is social justice orthodoxy and what was cooked up by the producers. failing contestants are fired from their jobs
#miti draws dallas - performance art piece in which thousands of teleoperated drones are released in a swarm over Dallas, Texas, and pictures of frightened and heavily-armed Texans are posted to Tumblr in five minute intervals
#super love love demon battle - SLLDB fandom drama. eventually boils over into discussion of the SLLDB fandom murders
#HobbesWasRight - series of articles laying out the philosophical groundwork for Googlezon Dynamics’ Leviathan Project and its benefits for the security of the state and the populace
#dogs - dog photos and canine cybernetic augmentations. also ferrets, to go with the ferret mistagging fad
#national technocracy - hypothetical point within the N-dimensional ideospace lattice originally theorized by RAND Geospatial Dynamics Working Group in the 1950s, generally summarized as “that thing that comes after prediction markets”, many researchers dispute whether it can actually exist. abandoned by Silicon Valley CEOs in favor of a system based on Facebook likes.
#dogfree - actual dog photos, just dog photos
Future Tags (Montana Timeline):
No tags for this timeline, possibly unstable. Radsuit suggested.
The year is 2095…
Following final victory of the Good Feminist People in the Great Gamer War, the old archetype of Man has been abolished.
Seeking to end sexual oppression, and empowered by novel tissue engineering techniques, the possession of a penis is limited to only those who can prove they are sufficiently Woke, enforced by a powerful licensing agency.
In practice, those with power in the corrupt government are those who can ensure their license remains in effect, no matter what crimes they commit. These same patterns of abuse are used to justify the licensing regime, while leaving social and financial power unexamined.
David Florence’s license has just been revoked.
A towering inferno rose up behind the column as the tanks rolled through Paris. Normandy had already fallen, Orleans, the Ardenne… all now under occupation as the last holdouts had fled to the city. But they were surrounded. The armed militia members waited nervously behind a makeshift blockade, clinging to their AKs.
- A History of the New France, 2034
Anime was a mistake
When your anime augmented reality filter creates the perception of large eyes, but does not dynamically resize your perception of contact lenses to match.
Random Contact Girl honey it’s the year 2048 you should really consider corrective surgery, it doesn’t count as augmentation, really!
begone sisterfuckers
The year is 2073. Following the collapse of North America and the European Union in World War 3, millions of weebs migrated into a partially-depopulated Japan. But not all is well in the land of the Rising Sun, as tensions between the siscon, lolicon, and still-technically-weird-but-otherwise-more-significantly-normal weeb factions are rising. Only one possibility looms on the horizon…
THE WEEB WAR
ウイイブ・ワル
> 2058
> arguing with Commies on minicom
> point out that the GDP per capita of the DSAZ is 8x that of Seattle
> point out no lines for antirejection drugs in DSAZ
> mfw “the Free Peoples’ Republic of Seattle isn’t real Socialism”
> mfw “Detroit Special Autonomous Zone is Fascist Dictatorship”
> mfw receiving these messages at coffee shop w/in DSAZ
somnilogical asked:
make a tulpa of me! i want to be inside u ~
mitoticcephalopod answered:
ngl that’s v cute but also terrifying
It is the year 2141. Tulpa artisans and corporate tulpa research departments produce tulpas of both real personalities and fictional figures and sell them for transfer on cybernetic implants. Tulpa Rights Activists protest against the transfer or erasure of tulpas, and are arguing for their inclusion in civil rights laws. Following the Night of Violets, the first mass tulpa terrorist attack, the Earth Sphere Federation government has begun a massive crackdown on unlicensed tulpas…
Violet Slattern Films presents…
HALL OF MIRRORS
In the year 2028, Hipsters use curved LCD technology to recreate the old Cathode Ray Tube style monitors and televisions, only with bulky, laughably light-weight empty plastic housing. 90s-punk becomes a hit style for a few years.
“Yes,” said the technician. “We got the test results back, and well…” The look on her face was very grim.
Bernstein was aghast. They had all agreed to pass the law. They had all agreed that it was wrong and immoral to have sexual thoughts about others who didn’t want to be thought of sexually.
And, since one couldn’t know who was or was not okay with being thought of sexually beforehand, it was a moral necessity that humanity should default to asexuality. Gender discrimination and sexual crimes had dropped off significantly. Only an underground of resentful dissidents had refused to comply.
“Surely it can’t be,” said Bernstein. “She couldn’t be that reckless. It’s impossible.” He let out a second “impossible” under his breath, just barely audible, as he stared at the technician.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Bernstein,” said the technician, “she’s sex-positive.”
SAN FRANCISCO—In an effort to reduce the number of unprovoked hostile communications on the social media platform, Twitter announced Monday that it had added a red X-mark feature verifying users who are in fact perfectly okay to harass. “This new verification system offers users a simple, efficient way to determine which accounts belong to total pieces of shit whom you should have no qualms about tormenting to your heart’s desire,” said spokesperson Elizabeth James, adding that the small red symbol signifies that Twitter has officially confirmed the identity of a loathsome person who deserves the worst abuse imaginable and who will deliberately have their Mute, Block, and Report options disabled. “When a user sees this symbol, they know they’re dealing with a real asshole who has richly earned whatever mistreatment they receive, including profanity, body-shaming, leaking of personal information, and relentless goading to commit suicide. It’s really just a helpful way of saying to our users, ‘This fuck has it coming, so do your worst with a clear conscience and without fear of having your account suspended.’” At press time, Twitter reassuredly clarified that the red X was just a suggestion and that all users could still be bullied with as little recourse as they are now.