My car’s brakes were acting a bit funny, so I took my car to the mechanic. When I came back later, I asked him what the problem was.  He said that the brakes were getting old, so he removed them entirely.  I asked him  “What the fuck? I need those brakes to stop the car!“  He replied “Oh you poor ignorant fool.  Don’t you know cars stop on their own?  Haven’t you ever heard of friction?“

At that point I had a hunch what was going on.  I asked him “You voted for Gary Johnson in the election didn’t you?“  “Darn right“ he said. Shoulda known.