Thank you for the advice, it's really helpful. When you said I should just ask myself if I want to date girls, and if I want them to date me instead, it gave me a weird "huh, I didn't think of it that way before" which sounds silly, but I didn't. I always thought I had to prove I'm gay, or otherwise someone will expose me as a fake, but no. I'm gay. It feels nice saying it.

<3

Like I said, really common! I don’t know why ‘am I gay/bi’ feels like a harder question than ‘do I want to date girls/ do I want girls to want to date me’ but you’re not at all alone in feeling that way or in finding it a helpful reframing. You’re gay! Go be a very happy gay.