An Englishman is in the process of moving to Australia. The customs officer asks, "Have you ever been convicted of a criminal offence?" He says, "Oh, sorry! I didn't realise that was still a requirement!"

Later the Englishman joins the army and is sent to fight on the Western Front. After being wounded terribly in an assault, he is rescued by an Australian unit and taken to a field hospital where he drifts in and out of consciousness. Unable to stand the pain any longer he cries out “was I brought here to die??” only to hear “nah mate, you was brought here yesterday.”