I know we want the same things so why does it have to be so hard
Humanity evolved in an environment of total war. We aren’t yet over the sort of species-wide trauma that induces.
and like that probably sounds trite or whatever, but there are many layers to this. if we ever find a perfectly peaceful species, with no sense of tribalism, it means that species was engineered. almost any species capable of space flight will have to be social and omnivorous.