urpriest asked:
argumate answered:
It may have begun with frat boys, but it’s clearly metastasised; if you replace all occurrences of dudebro with frat boy the results are incoherent.
urpriest asked:
argumate answered:
It may have begun with frat boys, but it’s clearly metastasised; if you replace all occurrences of dudebro with frat boy the results are incoherent.
Anonymous asked:
Dearest Anon-kun,
My representation is a bit more dire than how I actually interpret the situation, in part because it’s intended as a counter-balance to mainstream feminism, which strips women of their agency and refuses to critically examine their role in the social dynamics which create these situations.
“Women are powerless” is really quite deeply normalized almost everywhere! It’s very insidious.
Comments regarding even cishet neurotypical women should be regarded as generalizations that do not uniformly apply to the population, and many subgroups don’t necessarily fit them. Additionally, low-status women also exist. In fact, women that don’t fit this mold are more common in my subcultures!
Additionally,
1) I have a reasonable shot at making it to the Transhuman era.
2) I have a close relationship to my ex WRT expressed vulnerability & female companionship, though not sexually.
3) Have you observed the number of self-identified “traps” and other such individuals among the Alt Right? I believe this represents a sign of an impending Male Gender Meltdown, the consequences of which are hard to predict. Overall, I do think progress is being made, as indicated by the appearance of multiple male gender movements.
Also,
All my exes are bisexual (and therefore have no set reason to behave in a certain pattern of attraction), and this blog will continue to not disclose my sex/gender.
Kind Regards,
Miti
P.S. If you are secretly the tumblr user known as BA, this blog hopes for your swift recovery regardless of whether that is low in probability. If you are secretly tumblr user RO, this blog hopes for an increase in your available useful energy.
SSC’s latest seems like a classic case of letting gender politics obfuscate power and class issues that cut across gender.
He quotes some PUA:
Polyamory — multiple and simultaneous sexual relationships — means, in practice, a few high value dudes hording all the pussy.
And then he uses both his intuitive experience and his LW survey data to show that men and women in polyamory date about the same number of people. There’s at least no clear cut numerical advantage to men. My experience also agrees.
But what if we neuter that sentence, and look at it again:
Polyamory — multiple and simultaneous sexual relationships — means, in practice, a few high value people dudes hording all the dates.
Which is to say, charismatic and confident people of either gender, dating a lot of people, and awkward and introverted people of both genders dating no one, only one person, or being a hanger on in a larger polycule that doesn’t get a lot of attention from the partner regardless.
That sounds… less implausible. It doesn’t exactly match my observed experience, but it’s not super far from it either. I’ve certainly seen in nerdy groups a Queen Bee that is dating half the men, in a way that seems parallel to the alpha-males that PUA’s fear/worship.
It’s not at all clear that this is bad. This seems just as likely to be the result of “some people want more partners, and are more socially outgoing to find them, while some people want less or are less willing to put themselves out there to meet them,” which would be fine. Or it could be this high-value thing. (I detest rat-tumb’s focus on high-status-males as the evil beneficiary of social engineering, which seems both empirically and ontologically unsound, but from a capitalist-critical perspective, “liberalizing trade regimes” often means “the rich people get more stuff and poor people somehow have less.”)
But, I’m also not going to be surprised by the subjective perspective of people low on the social totem pole. Before, they had hope in this pigeon-hole thing, where each person could get at most one partner, so eventually the people as attractive as them would realize their best chance for a life long relationship was with fellow low-class dates like themselves. It was a bad model, but I’m aware people believed in it. Now they worry no one will be left waiting for them, and they’ll be entirely alone forever. So there’s some people who seem to be having a lot of sex (stealing their jouissance) and they aren’t reaping the benefits.
The answers they come up with are usually dumb, but they are at least seeing/feeling a thing.
Bambam honey darling kun, and also @slatestarscratchpad friend,
I love weird nerds but weird nerds aren’t a representative sample for the behavior of typical relationship norms.
A better example for normies applying this would be all the other countries, territories and communities where polygamy is practiced, as well as communities within the US where one man will have 11 kids by 8 different women.
No full poly until Tranhumanism makes it possible to ‘defect’ from both your sex and sexual orientation, pls.
I want to complain about people who send messages containing only ‘hi’ or something similar. This happens mostly on dating sites, but it happens on Tumblr too.
Like, what do you think will happen? Do you think I will also say ‘hi’ back and then you will be like ‘how are you’ and I will be like ‘pretty good how about you’ and you will be like ‘i like your stuff’ and I will be like ‘your blog is pretty cool too’ and then you will be like ‘yeah lol’ and i will be like ‘do you wanna have sex’?
It’s annoying, but it’s better than those people who don’t send messages at all, and just expect to receive them.
Disagree unless they can actually make that expectation relevant to you.
There was a hilarious dating site a while ago (whose name I forgot and which might well still exist) where the concept was that only women could initiate conversation. The consequence was that women would send hot men empty messages so they could initiate.
Apparently reality is more exaggerated than even my own beliefs.
I see posts like if you are a WOMAN attracted RUBY ROSE then you are not a LESBIAN because she is GENDERFLUID and I’m like hmm, that creates a weird quantum dependency between attraction and gender identity.
See you in the club and think damn, that person is hot. But wait, I don’t know their gender identity, which means my own sexuality is now a mystery to me!
Awkwardly, you are also attracted to me, and feel your gender identity shifting to take into account this new and unforeseen attraction! Except you don’t know my gender identity, leaving you stranded in ambiguity.
Tragically we lose sight of each other in the crowd, and never see each other again, leaving our sexualities indeterminate for all time.
legitimately could not tell if “ruby rose” was referring to a real person or a gem fusion
this is Tumblr, it could go either way.
Ok but this is actually the most succinct argument on why the friend zone is bad I’ve ever seen
Succinct and wrong.
Men (and women! who do exist!) who complain about being stuck in the friend zone aren’t lamenting that it’s shitty to have friends who are the gender they’re attracted to but who aren’t romantic or sexual partners; they’re lamenting that it’s shitty to *not have any romantic and)or sexual partners*, even if they have friends (of the gender they’re attracted to or otherwise).
And some people who engage in such lamentation have shitty views about the psychology of the opposite sex. Some have views that aren’t particularly shitty, but are simply *factually wrong*. And some don’t.
(The tendency of some people, mainly women, to explain their lack of romantic interest in very “ladder theory”–like terms in a misguided attempt to “let ‘em down easy” is pretty clearly the fundamental cause of many of the incorrect ideas here, although at this point a number of them have taken on a life of their own, sometimes in strange, mutant forms. In fact, I’d argue that ladder theory is nothing more than what you get when a bunch of straight men take multiple straight women’s “white lies” at face value, and then (over)generalize the resulting conclusions from “many women, including all the ones I’ve gotten up the courage to ask out, are like this” to “all women are like this.” But that’s a distinctly secondary point.)
I would rather (continue to) have any of my female friends as friends than not have them as any of friends, sexual partners , or girlfriends. If this weren’t the case, I wouldn’t be friends with them in the first place.
But out of those of them who aren’t close relatives, underage, or taken, I would still prefer to have *any* of them as friends + (happy) girlfriends and/or sex partners (ideally both) than as friends alone, absent specific and compelling reasons not to. I’m frankly kind of confused as to why anyone (who is sexually attracted to women) wouldn’t.
That doesn’t imply that I don’t value their friendship, absent anything more! It doesn’t even suggest it!
And yes, it is frustrating that some of these women like me as a friend, are single, *and* are attracted to men, and yet don’t want to at least give dating and/or having sex with me a shot to see how they (and I) like it. If I imagine their brains as working similarly to mine as regards romantic and sexual desire, then it seems like they logically should. But in fact, they don’t. And that is what being in the friend zone means, fundamentally, and it does, in fact, suck. It sucks *less* than having neither (platonic) female friends nor a girlfriend — precisely because I *do* value their friendship, even if it will never lead to anything more — but it still sucks.
And the more you try to argue that it doesn’t, and that only some caricature of am entitled misogynist would think that it does, the more you’re going to (1) hurt decent people who don’t in any way deserve that and (2) drive the people you’re hurting into the arms of your anyone that’s willing to risk bring called the full litany of feminist insults to take a stand against you.
If you’re *lucky*, that will be someone like me, or @slatestarscratchpad, or @theunitofcaring, or @funereal-disease. Someone, in short, who recognizes the cyanide in your Kool-Aid for what it is, and who believes in egalitarianism and basic human decency.
But if you’re not, it will be redpillers, or worse.
And yeah, a guy who *lets* himself be driven into the arms of redpillers is morally responsible for that. But you sure as hell bear some responsibility too.
Tumblr funnymen: omg gamer dudes are the absolute worst and garbage pedophile and they sexuallize characters
Meanwhile in the shipping side of tumblr:

“Let’s turn all friendship and emotional intimacy between men into a sign of androsexuality (even though anecdotal reports indicate that straight women are not interested in bisexual men).”
Like, I get that the fujoshis love to ship men, that’s okay, but a healthy media marketplace will contain examples of men deeply relating to each other that are entirely straight, even though it will also include gay men.
I mean if nothing else, the majority of misogynist men appear to be in sexual relationships with women at various points in their lives, and are hence “getting some” without fundamentally shifting their opinions.
The “dude hates women because he can’t get laid” thing irritates me from a number of directions.
Dudes who get lots of sex from women frequently hate women, dudes who want sex with women but are “volcel” or not interested in “sluts riding the cock carousel” or whatever manosphere redpill grossness is floating around have some weird shit going on and probably need hugs and sympathy for other reasons but that doesn’t excuse the fact that lots of them just hate women.
But that’s just some of the straight dudes.
I’ve known a lot of *deeply* misogynistic/femmephobic/transphobic gay men and at least a couple of very misogynist ace folks. I know a *TREMENDOUS* number of misogynist straight women, who are sexist as fuck and fighting daily battles with their own internalized misogyny but who are certainly not motivated in their contempt and hatred for women by a desire to fuck them. Misogyny in gay men, straight women, and ace folks at least proves that misogyny can be completely divorced from an unfulfilled desire for vaginal sex.
I think the reason we hear the “he’s just mad because he’s not getting any” is because there is a not-insignificant number of men who will be more vocal about their misogyny when they’re single and having trouble “pulling” - that’s where you get stories from women in bars who get called stuck-up bitches or who are told all women are the same gold-digging whores and whatever, because some dude tried to hit on them and got shut down. I heard an awful lot of this kind of thing as a comforting shoulder to many a geek who wanted to know what was wrong with him and why girls didn’t like him and went for the jock or the dude with the motorcycle or the asshole with the tattoos. But I also ran LGBT clubs and was the shoulder for a lot of gay men discussing how disgusting vaginas are and how they don’t even want women around (and I understand that a lot of that probably is a defense mechanism for young men being pressured into performing heteronormativity who are totally uninterested in women and ambivalence can easily become revulsion when you’re pressured into doing things you don’t want to that aren’t right for you; I feel less sympathy and understanding for older gay men I know now who continue to regularly discuss how icky vaginas are and how women are cock-hungry because they’ve got penis envy and aren’t whole without a dick in them somewhere, what the fuck you sound like radfems)
I’m rambling too much, but here’s what I’m trying to get down to: many women hear the most vocal, vicious, misogynist things from men they’ve just turned down or from men whose catcalls they’ve ignored. I think the reason a lot of women default to “you just can’t get laid” as an insult to misogynists is because their mental picture of “misogynist” is “that guy who chased me for two blocks because I wouldn’t smile” or “that guy who screamed at me in the bar” or “that guy who called me a bitch in science class because I didn’t accept his promposal” or “that asshole who said I put him in the friendzone when I wouldn’t sleep with him after a breakup because I just thought he was my friend.”
I’m not saying that it’s right or it’s good that people default to “wants and can’t attain straight sex” as the handwave for misogyny, I’m saying we should figure out where this is coming from. Homophobia and compulsory heterosexuality are probably a significant part of the answer, but lived experience of women being personally attacked (either verbally or physically) by men whom they’ve rejected is probably another part.
And, yeah, a lot of this ends up throwing LGBTQIA folks under the bus - an adult who menstruates and is freaked out by tampons is assumed to be childish or a prude instead of sex-repulsed or penetration-averse or experiencing dysphoria; an adult who doesn’t seek (primarily straight) sex is assumed to be broken.
And that’s all fucked up.
So yeah, feminist folks, you are perpetuating the cycle of toxic masculinity when you use “this loser can’t get laid” as an insult (also when you use “prude” as an insult - there are lots of good reasons people aren’t interested in sex or aren’t interested in hearing about sex in lots of contexts, oversharing when someone is uncomfortable with it is violating their consent).
And I’ll just end my rant with “can we just try not to be jerks to each other? That’d be swell.”
So you have that, but also there is a conflation of “what straight women want or find attractive” with “good” which this is a part of.
What is real is that other people will refuse to affirm or validate your gender while you are not able to demonstrate dominance.
Anonymous asked:
fierceawakening answered:
Thanks!
Parallel evolution: Unix nerds tell people to read the man pages all the time and often make you prove that you tried to solve it on your own before they help you.
Interestingly, geekfeminism hates it when Unix nerds tell newbs to ask pertinent questions and figure stuff out on their own.
Trolls can get answers from the most jaded and busy hackers by giving the wrong advice.
You can apply this kind of trolling to feminism as well: Ask feminists something trivial about internet feminism 101. Use a sock puppet to give a subtly wrong answer. Tag several online feminists (the ones you asked in the first place maybe) in your “thank you for the answer” tweet. Suddenly it is their job to educate you…
Ah, the irony.
Look, all I’m saying is that while it isn’t a matter of systematic oppression for each man to prefer that his girlfriend get the purring augmentation, if the vast majority of men have a strong preference, this creates a powerful incentive gradient in which any women who don’t will risk a greater chance of loneliness.
Just because popular VR personas use it now does not justify getting an expensive cybernetic implant, especially since it didn’t really hit the big time until about five years ago.
@argumate I thought you weren’t getting enough Discourse, so I got you some from the future