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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

@poipoipoi-2016

/And if anybody pulls this off, let me know in three years.

Local Lunatic Given Control of Personal Army, Made Absolute Leader of Toledo, Ohio, as “Emergency Measure”

Democratic Party Leaders Vow to Impeach Trump, Fight Trump Administration Over Unexplained Decision to Yield American City to Obscure Blogger

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[Photo illustration: Obscure blogger “Mitigated Chaos” rides into city of Toledo at head of tank column, wearing “reimagined Union Army uniform”]

Blogger to head new “Metropolitan Planning Authority” as greater Toledo area declared tax-free “Special Development Administrative Zone” by Executive Order 15335

shtpost augmented reality break supervillain

More you might like

Anonymous asked:

Other thing that somehow features all three: the Back To The Future trilogy

I admit, I focused on doing time travel, not watching time travel, so I haven’t seen all of them.  It was more of a one-time thing, too.

Actually my knowledge of late 20th century movies is pretty selective.  It was all considered pretty bloody problematic at the time, for most of them.

Anyhow, it’s kinda complicated, but the third way is the most, uh, accurate, I guess?  There’s like a 50-50 chance I’m being chased by the Temporal Enforcement Bureau, but eh, I can live with it.

shtpost anons asks supervillain chronofelony augmented reality break

Anonymous asked:

Shut the fuck up you sexist bitch.

Technically, this one arrived before the other one, so I think this is actually my first official anonhate.

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I don’t have any confetti or anything up here, so you’ll just have to make do with this.

That’s not actually a real anon, by the way.  It’s an Official Tumblr™ Plush Anon.  The shipping is fucking ludicrous, though.

anons asks shtpost gendpol the mitigated exhibition supervillain nuclear moonbase victory for national technocracy what even is this blog augmented reality break

Anonymous asked:

we will pave your mom woth trees

> sending me this instead of shitposting about how you’re going to attack me with a Federation mobile suit for supporting the extremely problematic Zeon colony drop like ten posts ago

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At this rate, you’ll never be able to stop me from seizing control of Earth and paving over everything you have ever known with trees self-replicating solar-powered CO2 scrubbers, Anon-kun, much less your beloved Western Australia.

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Tags Now:

#the iron hand - the State
#the invisible fist - Capitalism
#the red hammer - Communism
#thx xhxhxhx - you know who you are @xhxhxhx
#chronofelony - time travel
#mitigated future - futurism
#art+#oc - hand-made, free-range, gluten-free, organic, locally-sourced PNGs
#shtpost - quality, 100% serious post, always repost this
#politics - elaborate joke post, never repost this
#trump cw - self-filter tag for anti-memeist bigots who are prejudiced against our first Meme-American President due to the orange color of his skin

#discourse preview 2019 - retrocausal posts from the New Mexico Timeline

#nationalism - posts banned under the 2089 Human Dignity Act of the Earth Sphere Federation, filtering these is recommended for normies and anyone who isn’t a NatSep

#augmented reality break - (alternate (reality) break) tag intersection, but with coffee so it’s better and therefore augmented (like me)

Future Tags (Vegas Timeline):

#this week on woke or broke - exciting new youtube show in which contestants try to guess what is social justice orthodoxy and what was cooked up by the producers.  failing contestants are fired from their jobs

#miti draws dallas - performance art piece in which thousands of teleoperated drones are released in a swarm over Dallas, Texas, and pictures of frightened and heavily-armed Texans are posted to Tumblr in five minute intervals

#super love love demon battle - SLLDB fandom drama.  eventually boils over into discussion of the SLLDB fandom murders

#HobbesWasRight - series of articles laying out the philosophical groundwork for Googlezon Dynamics’ Leviathan Project and its benefits for the security of the state and the populace

#dogs - dog photos and canine cybernetic augmentations.  also ferrets, to go with the ferret mistagging fad

#national technocracy - hypothetical point within the N-dimensional ideospace lattice originally theorized by RAND Geospatial Dynamics Working Group in the 1950s, generally summarized as “that thing that comes after prediction markets”, many researchers dispute whether it can actually exist.  abandoned by Silicon Valley CEOs in favor of a system based on Facebook likes. 

#dogfree - actual dog photos, just dog photos

Future Tags (Montana Timeline):

No tags for this timeline, possibly unstable.  Radsuit suggested.

chronofelony mitigated fiction augmented reality break mitigated future shtpost or is it tags
mitigatedchaos

Anonymous asked:

But the bright side is that natural processes beyond our control can still be understood and accounted for! E.g., studying earthquakes can help you figure out the warning signs (potentially helping people to get to safety), discover where they're likely to occur, and develop less susceptible architecture. We cannot make the universe care for us, but we can adapt to it and care for each other.

argumate answered:

Indeed, our only hope.

mitigatedchaos

It is the bright side.  If there’s no God to help us, then there is also no God to stop us.

mitigatedchaos

@slartibartfastibast: This is like the most common villain origin story ever…

What?  That’s not my villain origin story.  I’m only trying to “take over the world” because of the dissolution of the NAU - which is a completely valid reason to use an army of robots to prevent the world state from ever existing.

I’m the hero, here, saving you all from enacting a really dumb idea that brings about global tyranny.  I only call myself a supervillain because for some reason, everyone keeps getting all offended when I hold the UN hostage.  You’d do the same thing if you were in my situation!  You just don’t have a half-machine body and memories of the future!

Source: argumate shtpost supervillain augmented reality break chronofelony
discoursedrome

Anonymous asked:

Are Brexit and Trump the first signs that the Dire Problem is coming to a head? What political upheavals will we see when Google perfects the self-driving car and the TruckApocalypse comes?

slatestarscratchpad answered:

If the Dire Problem is supposed to be job automation, most of the best studies I’ve seen suggest that job automation isn’t having real effects right now (yes, everyone is confused about this, but the studies are pretty unanimous). I don’t know whether that will continue past the Truckpocalypse (<– correct form, your portmanteau is way too unwieldy).

My guess is Trump and Brexit have more to do with income inequality caused by other stuff, increased class differences coming from the income inequality, and various social stuff coming out of those class differences.

slatestarscratchpad

1109514775 writes:

Nah, I think anon has it. Try rapping it. You don’t want that “ck” right against the “p”, the “a” in between makes it flow. “truck-uh-pock-uh-lips” is delicious.

But if the Truckpocalypse is related to the Trumpocalypse, we want parallel -ocalypse structures to make them more easily comparable.

“The Trumpocalypse caused the Truckpocalypse” sounds good,

“The Trumpocalypse caused the TruckApocalypse” is just ridiculous.

discoursedrome

“Truckapocalypse” sounds better absent context but the meter and consonance mean that I can’t stop thinking of “Snuffleupagus” and “Papadopoulos” when I hear it.

mitigatedchaos

You fuckers have it completely wrong.

“Truckpocalypse” and “Truck Apocalypse” are two DIFFERENT supervillains.  You can’t go mixing them up like this. There was a court case about it and everything - it’s fucking trademarked.  You could get sued.

Source: slatestarscratchpad shtpost augmented reality break supervillain
argumate
argumate

so what are we all getting mad about next

mitigatedchaos

I’m really upset that my favorite ship in Strawberry Rationalist Girl RenegadeAngles-san isn’t official in the new season and I’m planning to hold the government of Sapporo hostage in the name of queer spider-cyborg representation and morphological freedom until the studio agrees to make it canon.

I’ve got three airsoft rifles, a crew of fifteen dedicated hardcore brotakus, and a tank.  I really think we can pull this off.  You in?

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ranma-official
theonion: “SAN FRANCISCO—In an effort to reduce the number of unprovoked hostile communications on the social media platform, Twitter announced Monday that it had added a red X-mark feature verifying users who are in fact perfectly okay to harass....
theonion

SAN FRANCISCO—In an effort to reduce the number of unprovoked hostile communications on the social media platform, Twitter announced Monday that it had added a red X-mark feature verifying users who are in fact perfectly okay to harass. “This new verification system offers users a simple, efficient way to determine which accounts belong to total pieces of shit whom you should have no qualms about tormenting to your heart’s desire,” said spokesperson Elizabeth James, adding that the small red symbol signifies that Twitter has officially confirmed the identity of a loathsome person who deserves the worst abuse imaginable and who will deliberately have their Mute, Block, and Report options disabled. “When a user sees this symbol, they know they’re dealing with a real asshole who has richly earned whatever mistreatment they receive, including profanity, body-shaming, leaking of personal information, and relentless goading to commit suicide. It’s really just a helpful way of saying to our users, ‘This fuck has it coming, so do your worst with a clear conscience and without fear of having your account suspended.’” At press time, Twitter reassuredly clarified that the red X was just a suggestion and that all users could still be bullied with as little recourse as they are now.

Source: theonion queue
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