In honor of the brave men and women of Loss Prevention, who work tirelessly and thanklessly as gainfully employed workers of the private sector, and protect the many goods we enjoy from being stolen by looters and parasites, I’m promoting this, the Thin Yellow Line flag.

These men are on the front lines every single day, preventing communists and advocates of alternative lifestyles from stealing makeup and other luxury goods ostensibly in the name of worker liberation, preventing their fellow workers from bearing the costs in the form of shortened hours and layoffs, and keeping prices low for the rest of us in society who actually produce utility for others.

When you see these private security enforcers at your local Wal-Mart, Target, Sears, or Macy’s, salute them, because they are the line between civilization and barbarism, and they do it without extorting the taxpayer or murdering innocent people in the street.