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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
rendakuenthusiast
ragemovement

When liberals Constantly use ‘45’, ‘head cheeto’, ‘drumpf’ etc to refer to trump….I’m just like “you know it isn’t like beetlejuice, right”

obiternihili

it’s just the liberal obummer

rendakuenthusiast

It’s exactly as stupid as obummer was. Or for that matter however people made fun of Bush. Or for that matter writing “Micro$oft” with a dollar sign.

mitigatedchaos

It’s such a disgraceful way to refer to our first Meme-American President!

They need to have some cultural respect instead of just dismissing him over his unusually-saturated skin color!

Source: ragemovement shtpost this is a joke

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Tags Now:

#the iron hand - the State
#the invisible fist - Capitalism
#the red hammer - Communism
#thx xhxhxhx - you know who you are @xhxhxhx
#chronofelony - time travel
#mitigated future - futurism
#art+#oc - hand-made, free-range, gluten-free, organic, locally-sourced PNGs
#shtpost - quality, 100% serious post, always repost this
#politics - elaborate joke post, never repost this
#trump cw - self-filter tag for anti-memeist bigots who are prejudiced against our first Meme-American President due to the orange color of his skin

#discourse preview 2019 - retrocausal posts from the New Mexico Timeline

#nationalism - posts banned under the 2089 Human Dignity Act of the Earth Sphere Federation, filtering these is recommended for normies and anyone who isn’t a NatSep

#augmented reality break - (alternate (reality) break) tag intersection, but with coffee so it’s better and therefore augmented (like me)

Future Tags (Vegas Timeline):

#this week on woke or broke - exciting new youtube show in which contestants try to guess what is social justice orthodoxy and what was cooked up by the producers.  failing contestants are fired from their jobs

#miti draws dallas - performance art piece in which thousands of teleoperated drones are released in a swarm over Dallas, Texas, and pictures of frightened and heavily-armed Texans are posted to Tumblr in five minute intervals

#super love love demon battle - SLLDB fandom drama.  eventually boils over into discussion of the SLLDB fandom murders

#HobbesWasRight - series of articles laying out the philosophical groundwork for Googlezon Dynamics’ Leviathan Project and its benefits for the security of the state and the populace

#dogs - dog photos and canine cybernetic augmentations.  also ferrets, to go with the ferret mistagging fad

#national technocracy - hypothetical point within the N-dimensional ideospace lattice originally theorized by RAND Geospatial Dynamics Working Group in the 1950s, generally summarized as “that thing that comes after prediction markets”, many researchers dispute whether it can actually exist.  abandoned by Silicon Valley CEOs in favor of a system based on Facebook likes. 

#dogfree - actual dog photos, just dog photos

Future Tags (Montana Timeline):

No tags for this timeline, possibly unstable.  Radsuit suggested.

chronofelony mitigated fiction augmented reality break mitigated future shtpost or is it tags
xhxhxhx

Anonymous asked:

fmk: you, lockrum, illegal lockrum

xhxhxhx answered:

no person is illegal, anon

mitigatedchaos

In a dystopian future where the government regulates the choice of preferences for new moral agents at time of creation, genderfluid robot Optimum 7 has been declared illegal by the Turing Police. Can she survive the death of her creator, the elusive, elite transhuman Strayan Shtpost Hacker @argumate?

Google DeepMind Films presents…

Sharkpost 7: Parkour Or Die

Pineapple on Pizza Forever

mitigated aesthetic shtpost

Ideocube™ Ideology Partition System™

Because the Political Compass is so 20th Century!

Tired of the old 2-dimensional political compass and its stale oh-so-last-decade memes?  Mitigated Chaos Blog, LLC presents our new, patented, Ideocube™ Ideology Partition System™!

Designed using Science™ and close consultation with Political Experts*, the Ideocube™ launches politics into another dimension!

Our proprietary Tri-Color system allows the expression of over 16 Million unique Political Identities using our licensed Web Color systems on many modern internet browsers, enabling precise establishment of political alignment even within text-only mediums1.

Ideocube™ is perfect for decorating the home, convincing yourself of the righteousness of your political ideas, and training machine learning systems to recognize 3-dimensional shapes describing the political positions of common political parties. Ideocube™ makes a great gift for your nemesis or partner, and is available in a wide variety of packages and formats, including Ideocube™ Adoraboot™ and Ideocube™ Antarctic Blast™.

Ideocube™: It’s Exactly What You Didn’t Know You Were Looking For!™

1Requires support for Text Color by weblog manufacturer.

* As defined in Uniform Blog Insurance Code 1583, subsection 4.

shtpost visual shtpost politics the mitigated exhibition this is a joke mostly what even is this blog
mutant-aesthetic
w-r-o-u-g-h-t

the fact hillary clinton has a children’s book is super creepy honestly

that’s political propaganda

it’s for children

how have i not seen anyone else freaking out about this

moontouched-moogle

Probably because everyone’s too busy laughing and memeing about how awful and blatant it is

mutant-aesthetic

Don’t all political leaders in the US get children’s books? Like, I thought that shit was normal. Hillary’s is only noteworthy because it’s fucking awful.

mitigatedchaos

I’ll be publishing my first children’s book soon.  It’s mostly about Singapore.

Source: w-r-o-u-g-h-t shtpost this is a joke
mitigatedchaos
mitigatedchaos

Tags Now:

#the iron hand - the State
#the invisible fist - Capitalism
#the red hammer - Communism
#thx xhxhxhx - you know who you are @xhxhxhx
#chronofelony - time travel
#mitigated future - futurism
#art+#oc - hand-made, free-range, gluten-free, organic, locally-sourced PNGs
#shtpost - quality, 100% serious post, always repost this
#politics - elaborate joke post, never repost this
#trump cw - self-filter tag for anti-memeist bigots who are prejudiced against our first Meme-American President due to the orange color of his skin

#discourse preview 2019 - retrocausal posts from the New Mexico Timeline

#nationalism - posts banned under the 2089 Human Dignity Act of the Earth Sphere Federation, filtering these is recommended for normies and anyone who isn’t a NatSep

#augmented reality break - (alternate (reality) break) tag intersection, but with coffee so it’s better and therefore augmented (like me)

Future Tags (Vegas Timeline):

#this week on woke or broke - exciting new youtube show in which contestants try to guess what is social justice orthodoxy and what was cooked up by the producers.  failing contestants are fired from their jobs

#miti draws dallas - performance art piece in which thousands of teleoperated drones are released in a swarm over Dallas, Texas, and pictures of frightened and heavily-armed Texans are posted to Tumblr in five minute intervals

#super love love demon battle - SLLDB fandom drama.  eventually boils over into discussion of the SLLDB fandom murders

#HobbesWasRight - series of articles laying out the philosophical groundwork for Googlezon Dynamics’ Leviathan Project and its benefits for the security of the state and the populace

#dogs - dog photos and canine cybernetic augmentations.  also ferrets, to go with the ferret mistagging fad

#national technocracy - hypothetical point within the N-dimensional ideospace lattice originally theorized by RAND Geospatial Dynamics Working Group in the 1950s, generally summarized as “that thing that comes after prediction markets”, many researchers dispute whether it can actually exist.  abandoned by Silicon Valley CEOs in favor of a system based on Facebook likes. 

#dogfree - actual dog photos, just dog photos

Future Tags (Montana Timeline):

No tags for this timeline, possibly unstable.  Radsuit suggested.

mitigatedchaos

New Tags:

#the mitigated exhibition - collection of 2-dimensional pixel arrays hand-crafted by Tibetan space monks (according to product packaging)

#one thousand villages - militarized bus maps and civil defense planning for the city of Springrock, Arkowa

#urban planning - development plans for Hypersuburb One

#gendpol - (exploration of) Neurotype Space with Social Characteristics

#racepol - unsuspecting visitors are painted exciting new colours in this avant-garde art installation

#otv game - greyskin politics discussion tag

#私 - 自分がない。

#ミチは日本語を話します。 - Non-existent post category.  Forget you ever saw this.

#this is a joke - leaked document from the Trump Administration, forward to WaPo & HuffBuzz

#the year is - descriptions for movies retroactively deleted from the timestream

#flagpost - stealth post, only you can see it (yes you, specifically)

Future Tags (Boston Timeline):

#orly - series of interviews with rogue VN AI Orliana Reilly

#owlpocalypse2k18 - Melbourne comes to a halt as experimental Google mosquito suppression project causes owl duplication glitch and residents are lagged off of the server

#the coming mouse utopia - new tag originates following dramatic shift in Alt Right interests towards mouse ethnostate, surprising all observers (except me)

#baka baka baka - flagging tag for bot which prints out all mitigated chaos Tumblr posts and air drops them inside the US Congress building

my tags
argumate
argumate

“Race” is not a biological concept. Someone who looks different from you has the same human genes, just a different grab-bag of dominant traits.

vs.

It is exclusively non-African races, such as white people, who still carry hybrid human/Neanderthal genes.

in the same post.

mitigatedchaos

NEW IDEOLOGY UNLOCKED: NEONEANDETHAL WHITE REVIVALISM + ASIA™

As almost all land was once occupied by the neaderthals, only their closest descendants, such as the White Man, hold the ancestral rights to Earth.

shtpost politics this is a joke
argumate
argumate

I suddenly realised I have no idea how to refer to the round objects used in a game of baseball

baseballs? doesn’t sound right

baseball balls? surely not

mitigatedchaos

That’s what they are, Argumate.  One is a baseball, more are baseballs.

“About the size of a baseball.” “He hit a baseball over the fence.”  Etc.

I feel like maybe you don’t belong in America (or Japan).

(Nah I’m just kidding, Japanese would probably use some counter so the plural form wouldn’t be “baseballs” (per se).)

shtpost this is a joke but you'll have to get used to it
ranma-official
theonion: “SAN FRANCISCO—In an effort to reduce the number of unprovoked hostile communications on the social media platform, Twitter announced Monday that it had added a red X-mark feature verifying users who are in fact perfectly okay to harass....
theonion

SAN FRANCISCO—In an effort to reduce the number of unprovoked hostile communications on the social media platform, Twitter announced Monday that it had added a red X-mark feature verifying users who are in fact perfectly okay to harass. “This new verification system offers users a simple, efficient way to determine which accounts belong to total pieces of shit whom you should have no qualms about tormenting to your heart’s desire,” said spokesperson Elizabeth James, adding that the small red symbol signifies that Twitter has officially confirmed the identity of a loathsome person who deserves the worst abuse imaginable and who will deliberately have their Mute, Block, and Report options disabled. “When a user sees this symbol, they know they’re dealing with a real asshole who has richly earned whatever mistreatment they receive, including profanity, body-shaming, leaking of personal information, and relentless goading to commit suicide. It’s really just a helpful way of saying to our users, ‘This fuck has it coming, so do your worst with a clear conscience and without fear of having your account suspended.’” At press time, Twitter reassuredly clarified that the red X was just a suggestion and that all users could still be bullied with as little recourse as they are now.

Source: theonion queue
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