Oceans Yet to Burn

[Oceans Yet to Burn]

The year is 2095…

Following final victory of the Good Feminist People in the Great Gamer War, the old archetype of Man has been abolished.

Seeking to end sexual oppression, and empowered by novel tissue engineering techniques, the possession of a penis is limited to only those who can prove they are sufficiently Woke, enforced by a powerful licensing agency.

In practice, those with power in the corrupt government are those who can ensure their license remains in effect, no matter what crimes they commit. These same patterns of abuse are used to justify the licensing regime, while leaving social and financial power unexamined.

David Florence’s license has just been revoked.

[Oceans Yet to Burn]

[mitigatedextras]

“Hilarious! Wisconsin Man Buries Nazi in Pile of Cheese”

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[Oceans Yet to Burn]

Anonymous asked:

Other thing that somehow features all three: the Back To The Future trilogy

I admit, I focused on doing time travel, not watching time travel, so I haven’t seen all of them.  It was more of a one-time thing, too.

Actually my knowledge of late 20th century movies is pretty selective.  It was all considered pretty bloody problematic at the time, for most of them.

Anyhow, it’s kinda complicated, but the third way is the most, uh, accurate, I guess?  There’s like a 50-50 chance I’m being chased by the Temporal Enforcement Bureau, but eh, I can live with it.

[Oceans Yet to Burn]

Anonymous asked:

Shut the fuck up you sexist bitch.

Technically, this one arrived before the other one, so I think this is actually my first official anonhate.

I don’t have any confetti or anything up here, so you’ll just have to make do with this.

That’s not actually a real anon, by the way.  It’s an Official Tumblr™ Plush Anon.  The shipping is fucking ludicrous, though.

[Oceans Yet to Burn]

Anonymous asked:

I still think the better solution to the gender wars is the mass destruction of femininity through hormone disruptors in the water supply. T O M B O Y S A N D C H A D S W I L L R U L E T H E W O R L D

mitigatedchaos answered:

Anon, secretly owner of the largest testosterone factory complex east of Nebraska: 

“We need to be open to radical solutions.”

[mitigatedchaos]

n.n.:  We can do better than just water.

Local Rat-Adjacent Blogger’s Sinister Plans for “Ultimate Final Form” of Ultra-Masculinity Remain Unpublished

[Oceans Yet to Burn]

Anonymous asked:

Nazis don't exist; they just haven't accepted it yet. Guys, we dropped the Unwish on you decades ago, you're literally fading from existence, your protests actually don't matter at this point, they're just annoying. "This is unfair, the Holocaust never happened!" Yeah, because we retconned you and all of your actions away, you dumb motherfuckers. Wave your swastikas around all you like; they're becoming ghostier and less real each passing year. Can't even remember why I'm mad.

You miserable fools.

All nations reforged their national mythologies in the crucible of the Second World War.

Having transformed Imperial Japan into the sole remaining bastion of such cruel and violent Nationalism, you are about to unleash a form of weeb that not even gods can comprehend.

And now I, standing outside of Time, will be forced to watch this unfold.  You jerks.

[Oceans Yet to Burn]

Anonymous asked:

I still think the better solution to the gender wars is the mass destruction of femininity through hormone disruptors in the water supply. T O M B O Y S A N D C H A D S W I L L R U L E T H E W O R L D

Anon, secretly owner of the largest testosterone factory complex east of Nebraska: 

“We need to be open to radical solutions.”

[Oceans Yet to Burn]

[kropotkhristian]

So the right-wing has shifted pretty visibly into clearly being the no-fun police right now (like literally, they are mad at pretty much everything fun right now, including Star Wars, Star Trek, and the NFL), and I think this gives the left an opportunity to show that while we are critical of media for its more problematic or pernicious aspects, we aren’t critical of the people that enjoy the media just for enjoying it. Like we have to admit that general fun is the most widespread form of resistance to capitalism, and we should embrace that shit. I think that some of the 2014-2016 rise in right-wing bullshittery was due to the left coming across as the “no-fun” people, and that was wholly undeserved, and I think the shoe has firmly landed on the other foot at this point. Which gives us an opportunity to show that that idea was always bullshit. We embrace fun as fucking praxis.

[bataillemeup]

Boredom is always counter-revolutionary

[isaacsapphire]

Eh, I don’t think that you can sell me on bad tofu and shitty music as fun, essentially with no fast cars, makeup, cool clothes, fun media, or personal hygiene. I mean, I guess the weed is “fun” if that’s your thing, but the fucking Libertarians have weed too, and weed’s not my thing anyway.

[mitigatedchaos]

If you check the op’s blog with the Internet Archive’s Chronoglow browser, it’s deactivated by August 3rd, 2021 after they got harassed off the site for liking an indie game where one of the developers was friends with a man whose wife was the cousin of someone who was once in the same room as JonTron.

[Oceans Yet to Burn]

[mitigatedchaos]

you’re too orthogonal to me to be my political opposition

I follow you for weird ms paint comics and the futurist pseudo-history. moar of both pls

Also if I’m being honest, I’m pretty sure the latter ask is what the AnCaps are following for.

[mitigatedchaos]

I for one like the ms-paint comics.

The year is 2042.  Following the election of Elon Musk to the office of Hyperpresident, the Mitigated Chaos blog drops text-primary political content entirely and becomes a slice-of-life webcomic about the relationship of two married lesbian cops and their robotic AI dog, Sgt. Sparkums.

Tumblr wanderers sometimes stumble into the distant archives from a time before they were alive, posting callout posts against the ultra-reactionary politics of the year 2018.

[Oceans Yet to Burn]

[shlevy]

You just know that someone in this general circle is going to have historical levels of impact, and some poor grad student in the 2130s is going to write their dissertation exploring who @argumate might have been and what impact they had on $famous-person’s early years

[argumate]

*crosses fingers* please no spree killers

[isaacsapphire]

I was thinking more along the lines of Alan Greenspan.

[mitigatedchaos]

While Bereton and Yu argue that Mitigated Chaos was an alias of one of several other figures in the Post-Neoreactionary movement that emerged early in the 2030s, and Harvey argues that Mitigated Chaos was a joint project between several authors, we demonstrate using reverse textual analysis and schedule modelling based on post timing and employment records that the true identity of Mitigated Chaos was Robin Lo, a DMV clerk located in Oklahoma City at the time of the Second American Revolution.

We dispute the arguments in Levy (2078) that Mitigated Chaos was the original name of the highly obscure VR film author “Destiny Playwright.” 

A New Theory on the Middle Influences of Australia’s First Dictator, Bright & Walker, Tumblr Journal of Post-Rational Political Psychology, Vol. 43, Q1 2132.