Ministry Denies Existence of “Thinking Emoji Waifu”
The Memetics Unit of the Ministry of State Security’s Cyber-Warfare Division denied responsibility for rumors of “thinking emoji waifu” that began to circulate on Monday.
“The weaponization of emoji in such a manner,” stated Public Representative Takayama, “is unthinkable. It’s unthinkable. It sounds like something [ISIS] would do.”
Pressed on previous creation of Sheikh Shrek Rule 34 that was allegedly traced to the Ministry by foreign news organizations as part of what was believed to be an effort to undermine Saudi Arabia, Rep. Takayama continued to deny any claims of the Ministry’s involvement with emoji-based cyber-weapons. “Look, I know all those foreigners think we’re going to cast some sort of emoji spell at them that will somehow hack their brains into voting for the next Brexit, but that is not what we do,” he said. “The Memetics Unit is a defensive organization created to protect this country from political interference from non-state actors such as 4chan.”
The history of our nation’s involvement with formalized memetic warfare is believed to have started in 1986, with an internal START Corporation paper titled “Going Viral: Ideological Replication Vectors & Attack Surfaces” originally circulated among a handful of elite mathematicians…
