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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

Anonymous asked:

Look. I get that you get off on being "edgy" and "controversial". It's kind of your brand, you're a contrarian, and it excites you to be going against the grain. But the chaos were the best thing about the Sonic Adventure series and I take any attempt to mitigate them as a personal attack, so sleep with one eye open, binch.

Reality check, Anon-san: Sonic doesn’t exist.  There have never been any Sonic the Hedgehog games, there never will be any Sonic the Hedgehog games.  No matter how much fanart and how hard you desperately meme, you blighted furries will never make the Sonic franchise a set of real video games.  

augmented reality break shtpost chronofelony

Well I thought it was funny to imagine you all as Discourse Suit pilots. Ah, well. But don’t worry. Once my visual respresentation software is complete, it will be able to represent any network of partisan/ideological prosthesis as a mech, and I can use neural nets trained on hundreds of thousands of anime characters to generate a true rattumb mecha anime.

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the-grey-tribe
the-grey-tribe

I have seen exclamations like “I bet he does not even have one gay/black/jewish“ friend, used as some kind of bait, to make the target say the unfortunate words.

mitigatedchaos

That’s when to either go meta, attack along another vector of the same topic (“oh, so the only real gay people are the ones that already agree with you?”) or flip the switch and start shitposting about how you are friends with literally every Jew on Earth, including the questioner.

the-grey-tribe

“I can’t be racist, I have Jewish enemies!”

“Some of my best friends are homophobic!”

“I asked a racist and he hates it, so it must be woke.”

mitigatedchaos

“Oh, so you’re saying that minorities only count if they agree with you, otherwise they’re not people?  You know who else thought that?  HITLER.  Get the fuck out of this fucking building, you racist piece of sht!”

I guarantee they will not see that coming.  Once you’ve stunlocked them, start using other Discourse moves…

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Anime Girls (& boys, but mostly girls because we’re trying to sell manga here) of Rationalist/ Adjacent Tumblr

Discourse Suit Aries: Fires of Orion

@ranma-official: Argumentative girl thought to be flirting with protagonist in comedy filler episode 17, actually interested in protagonist’s love interest.  Side plot is dropped entirely once she becomes member of ship’s crew.

@isaacsapphire​: The ship’s no-nonsense mechanic.

@mitigatedchaos: Loyal officer of the season 1 main antagonist and mobile suit knightmare frame mech pilot.  Actually believes in main antagonist’s plans to bring about World Revolution, and the Hard Choices this requires.  Thought to have been defeated and killed by the protagonist ¾ through season 1, returns to investigate/fight the Mysterious Organization behind the World State in season 2.

@slartibartfastibast​: Ship’s lab-coated biologist.  Secretly working against the Mysterious Organization, as hinted in season 1.

@the-grey-tribe​: Ship’s engineer.  Keeps the protagonist’s Super Prototype Mech Discourse Suit functioning in between combat engagements.

@collapsedsquid​: Journalist investigating the true motives of the season 1 main antagonist, thought to have been killed by the Mysterious Organization near the end of season 1, but revealed to be alive in season 2.  

@kontextmaschine​: Esoteric ‘hipster’ gets little screen-time, revealed as former member of the Mysterious Organization currently in hiding in season 2, annoying viewers as an underwhelming use of foreshadowing in season 1.

@xhxhxhx​: Reasonable Authority Figure of World State District 11, origin point of the protagonist’s ship.

@wrathofgnon​: Even more war-hawkish general of the main antagonist.

@silver-and-ivory​: Handsome Mech Discourse Suit pilot from other battlegroup rescues protagonist twice in season 1, once in season 2.  A fan favorite but doesn’t get much screentime.

@theunitofcaring​: Peace activist focused on by plot but brushed aside by ludicrously destructive Discourse Suit war.  Finally achieves goal in end of season 2.

@yudkowsky: Thought to be the secret identity of the main antagonist, turns out to be just a philosopher in one of the space colonies.

@bambamramfan​: Additional philosopher on Earth.  Encountered by the protagonist in season 1 to impart some wisdom with a few other philosophers before departing.

@wirehead-wannabe​: Bridge bunny.  (Sorry.)

@slatestarscratchpad​: Another space colony philosopher.  Explains the goals of the Mysterious Organization in season 2 when Yudkowsky is found, but not actually a member of the Mysterious Organization.

@argumate: Generic owl-themed harem protagonist of the spin-off series.

[This article is incomplete.  You can help by expanding it.]

shtpost this is a joke dont take this seriously discourse suit aries