Oceans Yet to Burn

[Oceans Yet to Burn]

[the-grey-tribe]

One of the weirdest policy proposals is where you put an expiration date on cash, to encourage spending.

[argumate]

ooh I’ve played with that one, it also fits well with some basic income proposals

[obiternihili]

inflation

[collapsedsquid]

All the kool kids nowadays are talking about negative interest rates.

[mitigatedchaos]

They’re not yet talking about forming quasi-autonomous state agencies that compete for assignment of implementing government programs, with contracts that can be renewed, but

Shhhh, they aren’t supposed to know about it yet.  I only know because I’m from the future.

[Oceans Yet to Burn]

theage.com.au

Grand theft avocado: nearly $400,000 heist 'taken seriously'

"They are in demand. Everybody loves avocados," said Sargent John Franchi of the Ventura County Sheriff's Office.

Veronica Rocha

[argumate]

fuckin’ millennials at it again

[collapsedsquid]

👋Redistribute👋avocados👋to👋millennials👋

[argumate]

the👋claps👋only👋go👋between👋the👋words👋mum

[mitigatedchaos]

“The ‘Emoji Death Front’, first known as the ‘Death to Emoji Working Group’ and then ‘Emoji Extinction Dot Net’, is a distributed terrorist group which first emerged in Sydney, Australia, in 2033, coming to prominence in an attack on the Pyongyang Olympics in 2036.  The stated aim of the group is the removal of emoji from Unicode, a goal for which it is willing to-”
- excerpt, Google Automatic Summary for “emoji death”, May 2, 2038

[Oceans Yet to Burn]

“You need not fear, captain,” said the man. “We are not Social Justice Warriors, but Discourse Monks from the East.”

The guard captain nodded, and the procession of Rationalists filed into the city.

[Oceans Yet to Burn]

“And thus we propose, to protect the common man from this social status war of all against all, the creation of a Social Sovereign, who shall define the boundaries of the ingroup and the outgroup,”
- The Leviathan, Part II, by Post-Neoreactionary thinker and furry artist THobbes85,

[Oceans Yet to Burn]

The best part is it works no matter who posts it, even Enemy Politics Blog.

[Oceans Yet to Burn]

[argumate]

All the NTSB recommendations are technically trade offs that have costs; consider American Airlines Flight 191 which crashed on take off killing everyone on board and two people on the ground after an engine separated from the wing due to improper maintenance procedures had cracked the pylon.

While 273 people may have died, the improper shortcuts taken during engine maintenance saved 200 man hours per aircraft! Why, the meddling FAA banning this procedure may have done more harm than the original crash!

[mitigatedchaos]

Nah it’s alright fam,

If we assume that the GDP per capita is $55,000, and that the typical passenger has 35 working years remaining, we can just have the state bill the company and its shareholders $525,525,000 and put them into debt bondage and sell off their assets if they are unwilling or unable to pay.

Now you may object to the state rolling around and charging huge sums of money as payment for accidental deaths, but I have it on good authority that everyone signed over their trusteeship to the state rather than get kicked into the ocean, entirely of their own free will.  Quite remarkable, really.  So I assure that this plan is entirely Capitalist.

[Oceans Yet to Burn]

“Picking nits is an accepted group bonding activity!”

“Yeah, in orangutan culture, maybe!”

“Hey, orangutan culture is valid!”

[Oceans Yet to Burn]

[collapsedsquid]

I think that we need to consider alternate plans for job creation, like arson.

[mitigatedchaos]

“Right, well, there’s windows what need smashing. Don’t be standing around now. Get to it.”

[Oceans Yet to Burn]

[grumsal]

Hey maybe I could afford a house if I just stopped going out and spending $450 at the club every single weekend

[argumate]

I really thought this was going to be a help me budget my family is homeless

[flakmaniak]

Monthly expensese:

$20 parking

$20 entry

$10 drinks

$10 food

$25,000 house down payments

Please help me budget this my family is dying

[argumate]

relax zoning restrictions and laws that encourage land speculation

[wirehead-wannabe]

No

[mitigatedchaos]

me, talking to a group of construction contractors with bulldozers: roight, you ‘eard the man, no more new buildin’s, this 'ere’s a nimby zone. you lot all turn right ‘round and go back what you came from

[Oceans Yet to Burn]

[mitigatedchaos]

@argumate is this your thing now

WE WILL CONTINUE TO POST PIXELATED ART OF QUESTIONABLE QUALITY (AT RANDOM INTERVALS BETWEEN TWO HOURS AND SIX MONTHS) UNTIL OUR DEMANDS ARE MET

1. DONALD TRUMP WILL IMMEDIATELY STEP DOWN AND BE REPLACED AS PRESIDENT BY A WORKING GROUP OF SELECTED PERSONNEL FROM GOOGLE, AMAZON, AND IBM’S MACHINE LEARNING DIVISIONS, AND THE RAND CORPORATION, WHO WILL BE DIRECTED TO GOVERN IN THE NATIONAL INTEREST.  A $1 BILLION DATACENTER WILL BE CONSTRUCTED TO FULFILL THEIR COMMANDS
2. MILITARY-GRADE POWERED EXOSKELETONS WILL BE IMMEDIATELY LEGALIZED FOR CIVILIAN OWNERSHIP
3. DETROIT WILL BE DECLARED A SPECIAL AUTONOMOUS DEVELOPMENT ZONE AND PUT UNDER THE IRON HAND OF A CEO FROM ASIA BACKED BY HEAVY MILITIA FORCES, PAID AS A PERCENTAGE OF DETROIT REAL GDP ANNUALLY
   
4. MARTIAL ARTS TRAINING WILL BE MADE A MANDATORY COMPONENT OF THE HIGH SCHOOL CURRICULUM AND AN ANNUAL TOURNAMENT WILL BE HELD TO DETERMINE THE ‘MOST BADASS HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR IN AMERICA’

[mitigatedchaos]

ADDITIONAL DEMANDS

1. THE GAZA STRIP WILL BE YIELDED TO EGYPT, THE WEST BANK WILL BE YIELDED TO JORDAN, THE PALESTINIAN NATIONAL IDENTITY WILL BE DISSOLVED, AND EVERYONE WILL SHUT UP ABOUT THE MIDDLE EAST FOR A PERIOD OF NOT LESS THAN TWO (2) MONTHS
   
2. CALIFORNIA WILL BE SPLIT INTO FOUR ADDITIONAL STATES AND WESTERN CALIFORNIA WILL BE PROVIDED 5,000,000 PERMANENT RESIDENCY PERMITS TO ASSIGN AS THEY SEE FIT ON THE CONDITION THAT THEY ARE PROHIBITED FROM VOTING ON IMMIGRATION MATTERS AND JUS SOLI IS ENDED
   
3. MUNICIPAL POLICE WILL BE REORGANIZED INTO AUTONOMOUS AGENCIES THAT COMPETE ACROSS MULTIPLE METRICS INCLUDING RATE OF FATALITIES AND DONUT CONSUMPTION AND MAKE METRIC-WEIGHTED BIDS FOR ACCESS TO MUNICIPAL CONTRACTS.  A SOFTWARE-MANAGED EVIDENCE EXCHANGE WILL BE BUILT TO COORDINATE THIS.  NO MORE THAN A RUNNING AVERAGE OF 1.2 DONUTS PER DAY PER OFFICER WILL BE PERMITTED.
4. THE REPUBLICAN AND DEMOCRATIC PARTIES WILL ABANDON THEIR IDEOLOGIES AND ADOPT THE IDEOLOGIES OF NATIONAL POPULISM AND GLOBAL TECHNOCRACY RESPECTIVELY.  DEFECTORS WILL BE CONSCRIPTED TO SERVE AS EDITORS FOR THE NEW FEDERAL DEPARTMENT OF CLICKBAIT FOR A PERIOD OF NO LESS THAN FIVE YEARS