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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

Anonymous asked:

Shut the fuck up you sexist bitch.

Technically, this one arrived before the other one, so I think this is actually my first official anonhate.

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I don’t have any confetti or anything up here, so you’ll just have to make do with this.

That’s not actually a real anon, by the way.  It’s an Official Tumblr™ Plush Anon.  The shipping is fucking ludicrous, though.

anons asks shtpost gendpol the mitigated exhibition supervillain nuclear moonbase victory for national technocracy what even is this blog augmented reality break
argumate
argumate

“Movies will be free after the revolution!”

Movies take the work of hundreds, sometimes thousands, of people. How will we decide where to allocate our resources for the best results?

shlevy

Centralized committee!

argumate

Yes! The State Administration of Press, Publication, Radio, Film and Television smiles upon you!

mitigatedchaos

shtpost visual shtpost the mitigated exhibition what even is this blog the invisible fist the iron hand the red hammer

You, a Neoconservative who unironically supported the Iraq War while complaining about “Liberals clamping down on our freedoms”: 

“Nanny State”

Me, completely unapologetic about the existence of a progressive income tax, flirting with the reintroduction of corporal punishment as an alternative to lengthy prison sentences, plotting the introduction of mixed martial arts to high school curricula as part of national civil defense infrastructure, and planning the partial legalization of some soft drugs in order to disrupt the cartels:

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politics the mitigated exhibition the mighty iron hand of the state the iron hand shtpost visual shtpost what even is this blog the meme game

garmbreak1 asked:

I have no conscious impressions about your gender.

This technically makes you more true to Core Rationalist Principles than anyone else who has answered this ask!  Very good1!  You win a square watermelon for this take.

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1Where “Good” is defined as “within the framework of Yudkowskyan principles” and not as The Good, or other Goods as defined by competing ideological frameworks.  Offer not valid in Alaska or Hawaii.  Void where prohibited.

shtpost visual shtpost the mitigated exhibition asks garmbreak::zero fruit gender ask meme what even is this blog
isaacsapphire
mitigatedchaos

Beings of undefined race and sex, posting in strange blogs, handing out memes, is no basis for a system of government.

isaacsapphire

Ender’s Game call-out post?

mitigatedchaos

In the modern Irony Economy, if you don’t engage in at least one multi-layered self-deprecating post each day, you risk losing your blogging license.

Source: mitigatedchaos shtpost what even is this blog augmented reality break

Ideocube™ Ideology Partition System™

Because the Political Compass is so 20th Century!

Tired of the old 2-dimensional political compass and its stale oh-so-last-decade memes?  Mitigated Chaos Blog, LLC presents our new, patented, Ideocube™ Ideology Partition System™!

Designed using Science™ and close consultation with Political Experts*, the Ideocube™ launches politics into another dimension!

Our proprietary Tri-Color system allows the expression of over 16 Million unique Political Identities using our licensed Web Color systems on many modern internet browsers, enabling precise establishment of political alignment even within text-only mediums1.

Ideocube™ is perfect for decorating the home, convincing yourself of the righteousness of your political ideas, and training machine learning systems to recognize 3-dimensional shapes describing the political positions of common political parties. Ideocube™ makes a great gift for your nemesis or partner, and is available in a wide variety of packages and formats, including Ideocube™ Adoraboot™ and Ideocube™ Antarctic Blast™.

Ideocube™: It’s Exactly What You Didn’t Know You Were Looking For!™

1Requires support for Text Color by weblog manufacturer.

* As defined in Uniform Blog Insurance Code 1583, subsection 4.

shtpost visual shtpost politics the mitigated exhibition this is a joke mostly what even is this blog

Rhyme of the Sixth Child

@shieldfoss

Can’t get your core mind thread remotely hacked if it’s not wired to an antenna

Everyone, sing along:

The inputs aren’t together with the outputs
And the outputs aren’t together with the inputs
For each task a dedicated subsystem
You are the network,
You are the tree

The display is for displaying
The arm for throwing
The display doesn’t choose
Where the arm is going

Memories are their own network
Stored inside your brain
Hardlink only can dive your memory
Dead or dying in crimson rain

You are the network
You are the tree
What’s you is you,
and what’s me is me

Firmware is manual update only
The touch of the cord inside,
Validated and crypto-signed
Is the only right way for parts to sing

The songs of the aether are broken
A great storm that seeks to consume all it sees
Broken hearts and broken minds
If thy let it in to thee

You are the network
You are the tree
What’s you is you,
and what’s me is me

I mean, admittedly I kind of left out the rhythm entirely in translating it, but you get the idea.  Every good child, raised by high-aptitude-scoring parents, is taught this at age 6.

chronofelony shtpost mitigated future mitigated fiction augmented reality break flagpost what even is this blog
poipoipoi-2016
mitigatedchaos

@poipoipoi-2016

/And if anybody pulls this off, let me know in three years.

Local Lunatic Given Control of Personal Army, Made Absolute Leader of Toledo, Ohio, as “Emergency Measure”

Democratic Party Leaders Vow to Impeach Trump, Fight Trump Administration Over Unexplained Decision to Yield American City to Obscure Blogger

[Photo illustration: Obscure blogger “Mitigated Chaos” rides into city of Toledo at head of tank column, wearing “reimagined Union Army uniform”]

Blogger to head new “Metropolitan Planning Authority” as greater Toledo area declared tax-free “Special Development Administrative Zone” by Executive Order 15335

poipoipoi-2016

Your strengths: 

* 45 minute drive to DTW, one of the best airports in the country.  Yes, it’s a drive (so car ownership), but.  
* There is an Amtrak station.  And if you can ever convince Amtrak to run more than 1 train a day that shows up at 5AM (overnighters from DC to Chicago), you’re 2 hours from Cleveland, 4 from Chicago and Pittsburgh (evening trips), and 10-ish from DC (overnighter).  
* You’re the corner of Lake Erie and every bit of economic activity out of Michigan and heading east is either rolling through you or through Canada.

Your weaknesses: 

* White residents who remember why they all fled to Sylvania and their gorgeous suburban mansions in the first place, and spent 50 years getting their every bias confirmed and deepened by the evening news.  

/Seriously, I get why you skipped over the racial/class aspects of this whole thing, but uh… that’s really critical.  There’s two reasons why Ann Arbor works for this sort of thing, and Toledo does not.  

mitigatedchaos

It’s true - dealing with racial issues would require some pretty strong ideological support.  

I think race/class issues could be mostly resolved, given the right conditions, but that the population largely do not believe in the necessary ideological supports required to accomplish this, or for that matter, to supply the necessary political energy for the necessary political policies.

The required measures would border on national separatist levels of energy.

On the other hand, Toledo was not chosen out of serious consideration, but for shtposting purposes due to required level of obscurity, position, etc.

On the third hand, the Great Lakes region has access to bulk long-range shipping.

Source: mitigatedchaos what even is this blog